The Dark Side of Creativity

We look at a work of art and are captured by its beauty.

We dress ourselves in couture and divulge in the way a garment could touch and drape our bodies so seamlessly.

We embrace creativity put on display right in front of our eyes and sit in awe at its ability to evoke emotion we had felt not a second prior.

Each day is an exploration of the greatness this world has to offer,

but what does the world sacrifice to provide us with this greatness?

"The tortured artist"

If you use majority of your right brain or share even the slightest interest in the creative field, chances are you've come across this statement in your life at one point or another.

It's a play on how some of the greatest artists in the world were exposed to a sort of suffering during their time whether that be internally or externally in view of the public eye. We're describing it as a play on words because well, many people view it as irony instead of something in need of closer inspection.

The truth is that this playful statement in fact holds much more depth than we care to admit.

Beauty is described by the oxford dictionary as a combination of characteristics which satisfies ones aesthetic senses.

Providing great pleasure to those who bear witness.

We've already established that beauty is completely personal.

You find fresh flowers beautiful.

I find dying roses beautiful.

Same page right?

Proceeding with this understanding, it is the goal of every artist to create that which they find excruciatingly beautiful. I use the word "excruciatingly" purposefully as there exists an endurance of pain and inner conflict when trying to not only process what's happening in your brain but execute it perfectly through the chosen form or medium.

It's not healthy continuously driving oneself to this point of mental exhaustion which is probably why most brilliant artists find themselves emotionally deficit by the time they're 30.

In terms of art through performative means we find that many well known actors, singers, dancers etc. with thousands of adoring followers would become lost in their own bodies and the characters they play. What do you do when you're unable to maintain the vision of perfection you've created? What do you do when this vision takes control of you?

That's the risk you take when you devote yourself to something so wholeheartedly.

We can look at method acting for example which is the process of being engulfed so much by a role as to alter ones own state of mind in order to produce a convincing performance. Alex Wolff from the film "Hereditary" remained in character throughout the entire duration of filming both on and off set. He experienced a self-induced form of PTSD and suggested to have his own nose broken for a scene in order to make it appear more realistic.

In some cases it's love of the art which drives people to these unimaginable extents of the human mind but in other cases it's pre-existing emotions which drives the art.

Let's take a spin on life's roulette table and have a look at people on the other end of the same chaotic spectrum that is creativity.

Instead of conjuring up ideas and allowing them to take control, certain artists manipulate the already perverted thoughts their mind produces naturally in such creative ways that we are left with that which causes a bit of chaos as a result.

They are often the innovators of a generation and years after the shock factor of experiencing something so uncomfortably new dies down we'd come to realize that we were in the presence of a genius far ahead of their time.

Fashion designer Alexander McQueen had an unpleasant childhood to say the least.

Reaching out from the clutches of harassment and bullying, McQueen's debut collections evoked feelings of tension and uneasiness. Runways paraded on by women appearing to be abused, half naked and out of their right state of mind. The pain McQueen had been experiencing throughout his life translated majorly through clothing produced earlier in his career and more discretely through pieces created thereafter. Suffering could be dissected beyond intricately beaded details on breath grabbing corsets and extravagantly layered fabrics of priceless couture gowns by those who cared enough to notice.

The sad truth is that sometimes people don't notice.

These seemingly over dramatized acts of artistic defiance are not driven purely by the intent to create some kind of shock value. They're the work of someone deeply isolated and misunderstood attempting to express what's going on in their head.

They want you to feel what they're feeling. They want you to understand.

Whether you're on one side of the spectrum or another, it all adds up the same.

Some of us have this twisted masochistic innate desire to endure some kind of pain throughout our process because that's where creativity thrives.

We believe reaching ones full potential is striving to meet the very edge where there is no more ground left to walk. We'll push and kick and crawl because the feeling of euphoria when the horizon opens up to reveal that which until this moment has yet to be seen is unmatched. It's like discovering a world you have created.

The light which shines as if opening your eyes for the first time is blinding but that does not matter because this is what you've been working towards.

Everything was worth it

until it's no longer enough

and tomorrow, you'll start all over again.